When I grew up playing around the neighborhood, if I got into trouble or did something I was not supposed to do, which was often, if my mom was not around to paddle my butt, one of our neighbors did it for her. After all, a mom can't be in all places at all times.
Those days are pretty much extinct both butt paddling and watching out for your neighbor's kids. Neighbors may have a Neighborhood Watch, but it is usually for "bad guys" not misbehaving kiddos.
Here's my dilemma. My neighbor and I were talking for an extended time last Friday afternoon. In the course of the conversation we chatted about his boy, a teenager, who had managed to get himself grounded. His dad talked about how hard it was for the kid to understand, but even more so, how hard it was to stick to his guns regarding the grounding. Of all times, it was Easter break for the boy. The grounding included basically everything - Ipods, Computer, his 4 Wheeler, and to top it off, getting his driver's license. It was a personal responsibility thing. Many of us parents can identify with this whole scenario.
Well...here is where I come in....I am in my office much of the day and of course have not seen the boy out and about much in the yard. However, this morning, I see him drive out in his Jeep. Now this is not unusual, the boy even goes and gets the mail at the end of the driveway in his Jeep, or riding lawnmower, or 4 wheeler (lazy comes to mind on that one!)... Anyway, he doesn't stop at the end of the drive, he is gone for close to half an hour. Now remember, he has a permit but no license AND he is grounded.
My concern is do I mention this to his Dad? I would want to know if it were me. Do I mention to the boy that I know his situation and let him do the right thing? Or...do I just let it be?
Of course much of this is thinking out loud, since I may not receive a response before I make my own decision, nevertheless, I would like to know your thoughts.
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4 comments:
Since you feel you must make a decision in this matter, and I agree that the situation affects you since no man is an island etc., wouldn't it be wise to determine why the boy broke out of his boundaries? Could there have been some emergency or other circumstance that rose above the importance of the restrictions placed on him? It would seem that talking with the boy (if you know him) would be a good first step. True love dictates that you do something. Just be certain that your own motives are above reproach.
Thanks for the thoughts.
I decided I would wait and see what transpired today and the same thing has happened, only this time his mom drove the Jeep to work, so the boy took the family Explorer. He was out for almost an hour.
No emergency that I am aware of, but things are not always as they seem sometimes so that is a good thought.
It is not so much that I "must" make a decision, it is mainly the concern that the boy is driving without a license and apparently not with parental permission. Sort of like playing with matches.
I am still undecided.
You have decided not to decide. Your indecision may just cost the boy or someone else their lives or some other harm. Why do you suppose they deny licenses to teens below a certain age? Does the boy have a clue that you just might know of his actions? Can you in good conscience let him continue breaking laws of which you approve? Why fear involvement in the affairs of others?
My decision is to address this issue with his dad when he comes home tonight. If it were my kid, I believe that is how I would like it handled instead of someone talking to my kid and risking a "mis interpretation".
I am not neglecting the danger involved - or my own involvement, I simply want to be certain. Which I believe I am at this point.
Thanks for your candid thoughts.
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